i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
