She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
