shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there's paper in my vomit.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
