he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
