Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
