its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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