Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
