hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize