East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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