This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
