I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize