He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
