You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
