return my video game
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
