Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
