Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You need Xanax blowdarts
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
