Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
