'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
