If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
