you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
