Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just want to make out with him forever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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