Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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