u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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