ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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