My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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