the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
