i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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