She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
