I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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