seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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