I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
