I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
