I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
