I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
