Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
