Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
