Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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