I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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