You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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