Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
