They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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