when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
