need another drink. this is the easiest way
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
