a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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