Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
