Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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