Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
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i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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