is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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