I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
