Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
