never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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