Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize