VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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