I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
