You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
