its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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