Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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