no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize