i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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