Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
