lets start a swedish sibling band together
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Alive.
So much puke
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
