Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
