I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
